Triple Double Trouble!
by JouYu
Summary: Marik casts a spell to have 3 of the YGO gang's opposite personalities come to life! Kaiba tossing money into the street? Yugi beating up little kids! Joey crying in a closet! What is this madness!
1. Somebody, Somewhere

TRIPLE DOUBLE TROUBLE!  
  
By: JouYu  
  
DISCLAIMER: We make up ideas and put other peoples' characters into those ideas! Whoo Hoo! Go us! (i.o.w, we don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!)  
  
Chapter One  
  
Somebody Somewhere is Doing Something Evil!  
  
Today, something evil is being done by somebody, who is somewhere. In some place. You get the idea.  
  
Anyways, Marik Ishtar sat comfortably on his wittle golden throne with his wittle golden rod. His wittle bitty mind was weaving an evil plot in his wittle bitty head.  
  
"STOP SAYING WITTLE! IT'S NOT A WORD, YOU BUFFOONS!" Marik shouted maniacally at the authors.  
  
JY:.....sorry.  
  
"Okay, back to ME!" Marik snarled with a final glare at JY.  
  
JY: (cower in corner)  
  
Marik cracked his knuckles and stretched. "Ah! Being evil is hard work! Must keep my energy."  
  
JY: What, sitting on your butt all day on a throne is hard work?  
  
Marik narrowed his eyes menacingly. "DIDN'T I TELL YOU BUFFOONS TO SHUT UP AND GO AWAY?!"  
  
JY: We're going, we're going! For real, this time! (disappear)  
  
"Good riddance," stated Marik with a sniff. "Now, where was I...?"  
  
The Egyptian walked over to a table holding a big crystal ball. Only, this wasn't one of those cheap fortune-telling crystal balls. It was used for a much darker purpose...spying on people! Namely, Yugi Muto and his stupid little friends (in Marik's opinion).  
  
Marik gazed evilly down at the crystal ball. "What havoc shall I wreak today?" he questioned in a sing-song voice.  
  
At that moment, a large old book decided to fall off of a nearby shelf and land on the floor, sending a dust cloud into the air.  
  
"You...stupid...BOOOOOOOOOKKKKKK!" screeched Marik. "YOU RUINED MY MOMENT OF PURE EVILNESS!"  
  
Naturally, the book did not respond. Everyone knows books have much longer tempers than Marik! Especially one that's been living with him for a while...  
  
Anyway, Marik stomped grumpily over to the annoying book and swiped it off the floor. In the process of pitching itself onto the floor, the book had opened to page 527. The exact middle of the book.  
  
"What have we here?" asked Marik, skimming over the hieroglyphics on the worn pages.  
  
**YOUR FRIENDLY BOOK OF HOW-TO SPELLS  
SPELL #371: HOW TO BRING OUT YOUR ENEMIES' _OTHER_ SIDE  
**  
Marik's purple eyes narrowed in evil delight. "Hehehe! Perfect!" he cackled. He quickly read through the spell, smiling bigger the more he read.  
  
"Yugi, you have ticked me off for the last time! Now, SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"And I attack your Life Points directly with my Dark Magician! You lose!" Yugi exalted as his monster wiped out Joey's LP. "Naaaa!" he exclaimed, striking a pose with V for victory.  
  
"Ah, man...ya don't hafta celebrate!" mumbled Joey, slapping the cards in his hand onto the living room carpet. "Just a little bit longer, and I coulda..." he fumbled for the words.  
  
"Lost?" Tristan said, inserting his opinion.  
  
"WHY YOU LITTLE!" Joey screeched, leaping to his feet and chasing Tristan around the living room.  
  
"Hey, guys! Don't trample your cards, Joey!" Yugi called out, reaching out to pick them up for his friend.  
  
"Ah, I don't care! They're worthless!" the blond exclaimed, narrowly missing punching Tristan in the face.  
  
"Why? Just cuz you've lost to Yugi for the fifth time in a row?!" narked Tristan, dancing out of Joey's reach.  
  
"I'm gonna kill you, Tristan!" growled Joey in a dangerous sing-song voice. He clenched his fists as if he wanted nothing more than to wrap them around Tristan's neck and..."SQUEEZE!"  
  
Tristan blinked. "Squeeze? Huh? You're crazy."  
  
Yugi's grandpa chose that exact moment to pop his head into the living room. "Hey kids! Come to the kitchen if you want cookies and milk!"  
  
"FOOD?!" exclaimed Joey, momentarily forgetting about Tristan. "I claim all the cookies!"  
  
"Not if I get there first!" challenged Tristan. They glared at each other for a split second before charging wildly into the kitchen.  
  
Tea sweat dropped. "You'd think they hadn't eaten in a month..."  
  
"Hey! Dueling takes a lot outta ya!" came Joey's voice from the kitchen.  
  
"Don't ya mean LOSING?" Tristan was heard to say.  
  
"HEY!"  
  
There came the sound of milk splashing onto someone's face, and a cookie sailed out of the kitchen, hit Yugi in the face, and dropped to the floor. Ignoring the crumbs on his face, Yugi picked up the cookie and bit into it.  
  
"Yummy! Chocolate chip!"  
  
"YOU GOT MILK ALL OVER MY NEW SHIRT!" an angry voice screamed from the kitchen.  
  
"IT'S WHITE, AND MILK'S WHITE, SO IT DON'T MATTER!" Tristan retorted loudly.  
  
There then came the sound of a blood-curdling scream and a resounding thunk.  
  
"OW!"  
  
"SERVES YOU RIGHT!"  
  
Tea glanced warily at the kitchen. "I think we should go in there before they break your grandpa's plates," she said, beginning to get up.  
  
"Don't worry!" chirped Yugi. "Grandpa knows them! He uses paper plates whenever they're here!"  
  
"Stop throwing my milk and cookies all over the kitchen! I made them for everybody, not just for you two!" Grandpa yelled, chasing Joey and Tristan out of the kitchen with a rolling pin.  
  
As the two boys pitched themselves behind the couch for safety, Grandpa turned to Yugi and Tea with a pleasant smile. "Would you two like some cookies?"  
  
"No thanks, I'll pass," Tea said with a shaky smile.  
  
"Heck yeah! Bring on the chocolate!" Yugi chirped, running into the kitchen and grabbing himself three cookies. "Hey Joey! Wanna duel some more?" he asked as he bounded into the living room, stuffing a cookie in his mouth as he went.  
  
"Now, now! Don't forget your schoolwork, kids!" Grandpa reminded them pleasantly, as if schoolwork was the funnest damn thing to do.  
  
Yugi stopped in mid-bound and dropped his last cookie. "S-schoolwork?"  
  
"Yeah! What's this schoolwork yer talkin' about?" Joey asked in the middle of preparing his deck.  
  
"Now, don't tell me you've already forgot about your _essays_?!" Grandpa said a little too enthusiastically. His answer was a chorus of groans.  
  
"I guess we should go to my room and...work," Yugi said dully.  
  
"Guess so," Tristan answered lifelessly.  
  
"Oh, come on! It can't be that bad!" Grandpa chimed in happily.

"So...remind me again why we have to do this," Tristan said, glaring at the college-ruled paper as though it was the paper's fault he had to write an essay.  
  
Tea sighed in exasperation and picked up the essay prompt. "'Your assignment is to tap into your other self by writing a five-page essay about how you would be as a person totally opposite in personality from yourself. Due in two weeks! Have fun!' "  
  
"That's a load of crap!" Joey announced vehemently. "It's third-grader work! We're sophomores in high school, here!"  
  
"Well, I don't see anything on your paper," Tristan pointed out in a sing-song voice.  
  
"Well...er....shut up, Tristan!" Joey snapped. "Besides, you only have a paragraph!"  
  
"It's more'n you got!"  
  
"Ah, shut up!"  
  
"BOTH of you shut up!" Tea exclaimed, slapping both their faces simultaneously.  
  
"Ouch! That hurt!" Joey whined, rubbing his left cheek.  
  
"I know, Joey," said Tea calmly. "It was supposed to."  
  
Yugi noticed the tension between his friends and said happily, "Come on guys, let's work on our essays together!" Three pairs of eyes turned to glare at him. "What?"  
  
"That's easy for you to say! You're already DONE with yours!" Joey exclaimed, shoving his blank paper into Yugi's lap. "Be a pal, and do mine for me, huh?"  
  
"I...um...ah, that is...." Yugi stammered.  
  
"He's not you (thank heaven!), so he can't write a paper ABOUT YOUR OPPOSITE!" Tea snapped, snatching the paper from Yugi's lap, crumpling it up and tossing it at Joey's face.  
  
"Hey! You ruined my paper!" Joey squawked as he tried to un-crinkle it.  
  
"Well, since there wasn't anything on it..." Tristan began in a philosophical voice.  
  
"Tristan, don't you dare finish that sentence if you want to continue living on this planet!" Joey snapped, making his friend laugh.  
  
"Shut up, you two buffoons!" Tea shouted loudly.  
  
"Hey, somebody's sounding like Marik here!" Joey snickered.  
  
"You need to tell us something, Tea?" Tristan asked innocently. Both of them nudged Yugi not-so-inconspicuously in the ribs.  
  
"Say something!" they hissed at him.  
  
Yugi sweat dropped. "Uh...hmm...no need to be....talking like stupid old Marik? Hehe?"

"GAAAHHH! YOU SHALL DIE FOR CALLING ME STUPID!" Marik screamed at the image in the crystal ball. "No, wait. I have something BETTER. More, EVIL. I daresay it's the best, most malevolent plan I've ever come up with! Bwahahahahahaha! YUGI, YOU SHALL PAY! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

JY: So...you like? 

Marik: Do I win this time?

JY: ....er...maybe?

Marik: SAY YES, YOU BUFFOONS!

JY: Yes, you buffoons!

Marik: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!

JY: Yup! That's why we said it, ya know!

Marik: YOU WILL BOTH BE MY OBEDIENT MIND SLAVES!

JY: Heh. I don't think so, scooter!

Marik: MY NAME ISN'T SCOOTER!

JY: Yup! We know!

Joey: Uh...while they're fighting...GIMME A COOKIE!

Tea: (slaps Joey) Ahem?

Joey: Oh...I mean...r&r, please!


	2. It's a Happy Land!

DISCLAIMER: We wish like heck that we owned Yu-Gi-Oh!, but, sadly...duh. We don't.  
  
Chapter Two  
  
It's a Happy Land, It's a Happy Place!  
  
Ding dong! went Seto Kaiba's doorbell at 7:23 in the morning. At that moment, Kaiba was busy sitting in a solid gold chair at a solid gold table, drinking coffee out of a solid silver cup, stirring it with a solid silver spoon. And wearing a satin bath robe to boot. Ah, rich people...  
  
Anyway...the doorbell rang again. Ding dong! Ding dong! "Ah, shut up!" grumbled Kaiba as he got up and ambled slowly to the door. He looked through the little peep hole in the solid oak door and saw a little old man carrying a cane and a broken coffee mug. "No way am I answering the door," Kaiba said to himself as he began to walk away.  
  
"I see you in there, Sonny! Get yer big caboose back over here and open this damn door!" yelled the old man from outside. Needless to say, this angered Kaiba quite well.  
  
He ran back to the door, flung it open and stood glaring at the little old man who came up about to his waist. "WHAT?!" he seethed, tapping his foot impatiently.  
  
"Money for the poor?" asked the little old man, waving the coffee cup around Kaiba's midsection.  
  
Kaiba lifted an eyebrow. "Do you have _any_ idea what time it is?!" he ranted. "It's 7:30 in the morning!"  
  
"Well, you were up already, so it must not bother you that much. Money for the poor?" the old man repeated.  
  
Kaiba slapped the old man's coffee mug away from his midsection and stamped his foot angrily. "I was drinking my coffee! _Nobody_ interrupts me while I'm drinking my coffee! And, guess what?" added Kaiba pleasantly.  
  
"What?" asked the little old man.  
  
"I WASN'T FINISHED!" The old man shuddered at the booming voice that assailed him at that moment. "SO GET YOUR DAMN BUTT OFFA MY DAMN PORCH RIGHT NOW!"  
  
"Seto, what's wrong? Why are you swearing?" asked Mokuba from inside.  
  
"Oh, no reason, Mokuba!" Kaiba smiled in his little brother's direction. He then turned back to the old man. "GOOD BYE!" Slam!  
  
"Who was that, Seto?" asked Mokuba as Kaiba returned from the door, rubbing his temples in irritation.  
  
"Oh, no one, Mokuba!" replied Kaiba cheerily. "Here's $100 for you; go spend it somewhere!" He shoved the money into the little boy's hand.  
  
"Score! Thanks, Big Brother!" Mokuba exclaimed, running out the door to go spend his money.  
  
As Mokuba strolled merrily down the street, he met up with the same little old man who had been begging Kaiba earlier that morning. "Hi old dude! What's up?" he asked as he passed him by.  
  
"Money for the poor?" asked the little old man, waving his even more broken coffee mug in Mokuba's face.  
  
"Sorry, dude...all I have is this $100 bill," Mokuba said, "and my brother gave it to me, so I can't give it all to you. Sorry!"  
  
The old man narrowed his eyes. "And who's you're brother, boy?" he asked suspiciously.  
  
"Seto Kaiba!" Mokuba replied with a beam.  
  
"GAAAAAAAHHHHH!" screamed the old man as he attempted to tackle Mokuba.  
  
"Ahhhhhh! Get away from me, scary old man!" cried Mokuba as he sprinted away as fast as he could.  
  
  
  
"Hmm...so Kaiba doesn't like to give charity, does he?" asked Marik, gazing into his crystal ball. "Poor little old man! I would have helped him!" he added in a saintly voice.  
  
JY: Uh, we beg to differ, Marik.  
  
"SHUT UP AND GO AWAY!" screamed Marik, brandishing his rod at JY.  
  
JY: RUN AWAYYYYYYY! (disappear)  
  
"Good riddance!" sniffed Marik. "Now, where was I...? Ah, yes! Kaiba and that poor little old man! I know just the thing that will make that man oh so very happy...hehehe!"  
  
Marik then began to flip through his spell book, singing happily as he did so. "Kaiba, say bye-bye to all your money! Ha haha haha!"  
  
  
  
That night, Kaiba lay in his king-size bed, dreaming of—guess what?—money. Surprise, surprise. Suddenly...  
  
Y: Did you see that, Jou? A thingy came outta Kaiba!  
  
At that moment, Kaiba began to stir and woke up.  
  
JY: Uh oh, better go! (disappear)  
  
"Nnn...? What? Mokuba?" asked Kaiba groggily as he sat up and looked around. Nothing. He sniffed sleepily and flopped back down onto his pillow. "Whatever...snore."  
  
  
  
Joey had fallen asleep earlier that evening, watching TV on the couch. Suddenly, a little ghosty phantom thing jumped out of him and ran down the hallway.  
  
"Eh! Leggo of my cookies!" Joey exclaimed, sitting up and swiping at the air. "Hmm?" he noticed the room was empty, except for the TV, which was still on.  
  
Joey shrugged, then went to the kitchen and grabbed a stack of cookies from the refrigerator and collapsed on the couch, munching them and watching TV at 1:08 A.M.  
  
  
  
The same thing that had happened to Kaiba and Joey was happening to Yugi! Just as the little phantom ran through the door, he suddenly sat up and shouted out at the top of his lungs, "I SUMMON THE DARK MAGICIAN!"  
  
He sat there pointing at the ceiling for a few seconds before he realized he wasn't in a duel. "Huh? Grandpa? Yami?"  
  
"Go back to sleep, Yugi!" came a groggy voice from the Millennium Puzzle.  
  
"Okay, Yami!" replied Yugi cheerfully. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.  
  


"Why did Yugi have to stay back and talk to the teacher about his stupid essay?" whined Joey as he, Tea and Tristan walked away from school. "I mean, he's sooooo perfect there's probably nothin' wrong with it! Besides, it ain't due 'til a long time from now!"  
  
"Oh, shut up, Joey," Tea snapped from beside him. "Yugi just wants to be sure he'll get a good grade. Unlike YOU."  
  
"Hey...back off, Tea!" Joey said sulkily. Suddenly, Tristan stopped walking and stood petrified, staring up the street with wide eyes.  
  
"Guys..." he began, "you'll never believe this..."  
  
"What?" asked Joey and Tea together. Tristan merely pointed with a shaky hand in the direction where a faint song could be heard.  
  
"What's so bad about a song? Somebody's just overly happy today!" Joey protested, not seeing Tristan's point in the matter.  
  
"No, Joey! LOOK WHO'S SINGING IT!"  
  
The tune was "It's a Small World After All," but the words were completely different.  
  
"Is that..._Kaiba_?" asked Joey incredulously.  
  
"It's a happy land, it's a happy place! Everybody's got money in their face! Money here! Money there! Money is everywhere! Go ahead and spend it all!" While singing this song, Kaiba came skipping merrily up the street with a pink Easter basket, flinging $100 bills into the air wherever he went.  
  
Joey, Tea and Tristan sweat dropped. "I think Kaiba's anti-socialness has finally gone to his head," Joey remarked weakly as Kaiba began to sing again.  
  
Hearing his name, Kaiba stopped in mid-song and glanced at Joey. "Oh no! He sees me! Hide me, Tea!" Joey squeaked as Kaiba skipped over to them.  
  
"Good afternoon, everyone!" Kaiba said happily, clasping his hands together and giving them a huge, stupid grin.  
  
"Uh...hi?" the three replied hesitantly.  
  
"You look like you need to be cheered up!" Kaiba exclaimed, pointing at Joey.  
  
Joey's face paled. "N-no! Stay away!"  
  
"Have some money!" Kaiba shouted, stuffing $1,000 into Joey's hands.  
  
Joey stared at the ten $100 bills in his hands. "WHHOOOAAAHHH! SCORE!" he exclaimed. "I'm rich! I'm rich! Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh YEAH!"  
  
"You're happy now!" chirped Kaiba, clapping his hands together happily. "But I've got more people to brighten up, so, buh-bye!" With that, he began singing again and skipped away. "OOooooo...it's a happy land, it's a happy..."  
  
Tea and Tristan stared after him with dumbfounded expressions. "Okay...I don't care who you are, that right there was scary," Tea stated shakily.  
  
"Nuh-uh, guys! I gotta thousand dollars!" Joey exclaimed, beginning to dance around in circles, whooping uncontrollably. "YEAH!" he shouted when he was done, throwing his hands in the air to celebrate. Suddenly, someone from behind snatched the $1,000 from his hand.  
  
"Hey, what the—" Joey began, then choked on his words. Before him stood an exceptionally angry Kaiba, fingering the money he had swiped from Joey.  
  
"Hey! That's MY money! You just gave that to me!" Joey exclaimed, attempting to retake his fortune.  
  
"Why would _I_ give YOU money, mutt?" snarled Kaiba.  
  
"But-but, you did!" stammered Joey in confusion. "And you were happy and singing two seconds ago before you ran down the street! What's wrong with you?"  
  
Instead of answering, Kaiba grabbed Joey by the shoulders and put his face very close to the other's. "Which way did I go?" he asked slowly.  
  
Joey gulped. "Uh...you're standing right in front of me..."  
  
"WHICH WAY DID I GO?!"  
  
"Eeeek! That way!" squeaked Joey, pointing to where Kaiba had ran off a few moments ago.  
  
"Thank you, mutt!" Kaiba said without really meaning it as he dashed away down the street, shouting at the top of his voice. "HEY, YOU! DAMN IT, YOU, COME BACK HERE! STOP THROWING MY DAMN MONEY IN THE STREET, YOU DAMN IMPOSTER!"  
  
Tea, Tristan and Joey blinked as Kaiba's shouts faded away. "I didn't think he swore so much," Tea said quietly. Her statement was met only with a loud sniff from Joey.  
  
"My...my money...GIVE IT BACK!" he yelled, taking off in Kaiba's direction. Before he could get very far, however, Tea and Tristan grabbed onto his arms and pulled him away from the street. "No, no! Lemme go! Lemme go! I WANT MY MONEY BACK! KAIBAAAAAAAA!"  
  
"Enough, Joey! Let's go!" Tea snapped as she slapped him soundly on the face.  
  
"Sniff sniff...that hurt!" Joey whined. "But...do you realize that I had a THOUSAND DOLLARS IN MY HANDS?! I coulda paid off my bill at the Game Shop with that!"  
  
"We know, Joey. We're sorry," Tea said comfortingly.  
  
"Hmph! Yeah, while you can't pay off yours, you put it on mine!" Tristan grumped.  
  
"Tristan, that is not helping the situation," Tea said calmly. "Now, let's go."  
  
As they continued walking to Yugi's Grandpa's shop, they heard a familiar voice in a nearby park. "Oh, come on, kid! That ain't how ya fight! You gotta punch like this!" exclaimed the voice. A resounding thud soon followed.  
  
"Waaaaaaaa! Don't hit me!" a little voice cried out.  
  
"And kick like THIS!" the older voice commanded, ignoring the little kid's pleas.  
  
"EEEEEEEEEE! STOP IT!"  
  
"And do a head butt like THIS!"  
  
The sounds that followed clearly indicated the older voice was demonstrating the proper fighting techniques on a younger boy.  
  
"That sounds like...Yugi!" Joey exclaimed.  
  
"But...but, Yugi's at school!" protested Tea.  
  
"Well, apparently not!" snapped Joey angrily. "He's over there beating up little kids!"  
  
Soon, they all saw Yugi's signature hair coming toward them. "That's him, all right!" Joey snarled, popping his knuckles. "I'll teach HIM a lesson! That little liar!"  
  
"No, Joey! Let's go to Grandpa's shop and ask him about it once he's calmed down and decides he wants to come to the shop!" Tea said, jerking Joey away from the park. "It'll do no good to get in a fight here!"  
  
"Fine," Joey whispered dangerously. "But when he comes..." He smacked his fist into his other hand. "HE'S GONNA GET IT!"

* * *

JY: You better like this! We had to suffer through listening to "It's a Small World!" We HATE that song with a passion! A vengeance! A, a—  
  
Kaiba: Which way did I go?  
  
JY: Uh...over there... (point at cliff)  
  
Kaiba: All right, you imposter...! (falls over cliff) GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Kaiba: (skipping and singing) Have some money! (throws money at JY)  
  
JY: (blink) Huh? Didn't you...just fall off that cliff over there?  
  
Kaiba: (still smiling) Huh? Have some more money!  
  
JY: (gaping) Ok....  
  
Kaiba: Well, gotta go! Tata! (skips merrily away)  
  
JY: Well, that was royally disturbing!  
  
Kaiba: (chokes JY) YOU TWO IDIOTS TOLD ME TO JUMP OFF A CLIFF! (sees money in hands) GIMME BACK MY MONEY!  
  
JY: But...but...okay! Don't kill us! (Kaiba brandishes knife)  
  
Kaiba: Grrr.... (stalks away)  
  
Marik: This is so much fun! (claps hands) R&R please!


End file.
